Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
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Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
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It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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