I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
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fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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