Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
youre lurking in front of me
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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