Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
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I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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