Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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