i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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