I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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