Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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