Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
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We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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