Can Purell be used as lube?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So vagazzling was a success
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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