He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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