we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize