It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
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I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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