yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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