And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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