Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize