I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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