I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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