had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
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I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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