So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
do herpes really smell.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
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giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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