So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize