I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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