I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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