Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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