Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize