Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
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I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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