Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize