so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
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It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
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The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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