Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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