Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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