I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize