searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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