if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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