Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
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well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
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During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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