I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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