Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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