I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize