If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize