So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize