I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
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The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
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My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
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