i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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