I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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