Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize