I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I've blown a few things in my day
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize