Im at strip club and am horny
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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