i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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