Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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