I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
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Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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