Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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