the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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